Knowing Better and Doing Better

How were big feelings dealt with when you were a child? What were the messages you got about emotions?

I remember having a flood of intense emotions as a child. I didn't know what to do with them. I would start yelling and stomping my feet. I felt like I would explode. I can physically remember this feeling in my body. The message I got? Don't be so ridiculous. You are so sensitive, relax. What did I learn to do with these big emotions? I squashed them, pushed them down. I learned they were not ok.

• "Don't attract attention to yourself."
• "You don't want to stand out."

Fast forward to being a parent with a super sensitive child with big emotions. I dismissed their emotions.

• You are too much.
• That's not an appropriate response.
• You just want attention.

I missed so much. I dismissed their very real experiences. I repeated how I was raised. I didn't know there was another way.

I know the pain of having your feelings dismissed. How amazing would it have been to be validated and listened to.

I have learned about the power of listening and reflecting back what you are hearing. I just had someone say that talking out loud brought them clarity. Deeply listening is a skill and a gift.

I really didn't know where I was going with this specific post until I started writing. It looks like it has become the perfect illustration of my favorite quote:

We learn, we grow, and we do better — we keep going.

Want support as you learn to listen and grow? Visit peacefulheartcoaching.com to schedule a free consultation.